The Book of Ashes

The hundred club... Rodney's fairwell 10:11AM

Shit it grows, slowly but surely it is coming. At first I was disapointed, we only had about 15 people reply but now as the emails circulate slowly, the straglers come in. People I don't know, emailing me, confirming their presence for the hundred shots. My last email was for 8 confirmations, 2 participating, 2 maybes, 2 watching but drinking, 2 not drinking at all. It is excellent, but also a little scary, it is now out of my control. I haven't been able to sort it with Damian yet. I don't actually know if we can confirm the venue. It better work out...

Friday was a dark and stormy night. I heard Rodney was coming back for his fairwell. He turned up with a lock on his pants. As if that would stop anyone. Andrea and another dude had a hack saw on it in seconds. Its a dodgey looking movie that one, looks like some kind of self mutilation home video. Next we wrapped him up in our supply of industrial glad wrap. Its about half a metre wide and I'm sure about a kilometer long. On top of that the yellow wig and police mans hat was added. After a breif struggle that all came off so we tied him with a rope and took him, one on each arm, down to the wharf for a water skiing lesson (remember it was dark and stormy).

We didn't get that far at first. We took the esculators. Bad mistake. He vaulted at the passing and jumped to the UP esculator. I grabbed the rope as it trailed after him and then dropped it just as quickly as the rope burn set in. A second later I was vaulting the esculator barrier and landing on the UP one. Quickly I realised this was hard, I ran down seeming to move at half speed. I reached the outside (dark and stormy) and saw Rodney (rat) running full tilt about 10 meters ahead. I bolted after (least fat of the TT people so first in pursuit) and was just pondering whether to jump on the trailing rope when he slipped on the wet ground and landed hard. I was quickly upon him, securing him to the ground.

Next thing you know he was walking chicken steps with his feet bound. It took awhile but we finally got him there. Then we were on the wharf front down by Rock & Kayak, struggling as Rodney put on a last fight. I gave myself a 50/50 chance of being pushed into the cold churning seas in my new suit. I took my chances. We subdued him though, without even a kick to the groin. We rolled him to the edge and pushed him over. Then at that instant he turned and grabbed the edge before falling in. His feet dangled, half in the water, half out as we went to pry him free. He nimbly climbed in, under the piers and hid in the blackness that was this night. First off we taunted him. Then Jon grew bored. He threw in Rodneys shoe in an atempt to lure him out. The wind however was in Rodneys favour and blew it into him. So taking advantange of this (and thinking ahead as all ex-boyscouts do), Jon chucked the Yoghurt that he had brought all in front of the piers. It blew in all over Rodney. Finally we let him out and retired to the pub. I took an early leaving and headed home for the comforts of warmth

Catching up with Si and Tim 10:12AM

Saturday was a quiet one. We slept in and watched the Transporter on my computer. I had a play with getting DVDs to work through my new TV but this didn't want to work. Another day maybe. After an excellent meal with Bonnie it was a catch up with Brother Tom and then Martin before retiring early in preparation for the next day coming.

Sunday was an early start. A fresh days wind to help me drive up to Palmy to catch up with Cousin Si and Cousin Tim. We had a birthday/lunch at the marae and caught up with family. All in all a good day before heading home then crashing to watch TV.