The Book of Ashes

Simons 21st 2:46AM

The universe spins in opiate colours of blue and red and black outside, as near on 2.25 litres of coke courses through my viens. Its almost 3am on Monday morning and I have to get up to go to work in 4 hours. This may take me an hour to write as well as quite a bit has happened. Flashback to Friday...

I finished my day and walked out to catch the bus. The trip up was ok except that we were brought to a stand still a couple of times due to slow traffic. I found out later that the reason was that there had been a crash on the road up ahead. So when we finally pulled into Palmy I sent Mum a text message saying come pick me up from the bus stop. Unfortunetly we then proceeded to another bus stop, not the one she would expect me to be at so I tried to call her but she had left her cell phone at home and was probably waiting there for me now. Knowing that waiting wasn't going to work I set out for the walk home which was only 20-30 mins anyway. I stopped at Mac'ers for a quick feed and when they hadn't got to me within 5 minutes I left. Fast food is supposed to be fast and this wasn't. I went BK instead and ended up walking down the road dripping mayonaise all over me. The chicken burger had way too much in it and walking, eating and carrying a bag without spilling all over myself was a little beyond me. I was just about home when Mum called me asking where I was. I said just outside the front door and wondered in. My uncle was there with mum having a wine and some fish and chips. He went to shake my hand but I said ummm no, its just a little sticky right now so I went and washed it. It turned out that when I had rung home to see where mum was, he had been there but couldn't find the phone in time to answer it. Mum had gone to the other bus station where they said the bus was late and had had a flat tire and wasn't coming in till a little later (this is a different bus they're talking about but mum didn't know that). She was thinking that I had thought some other town was Palmy and I had texted her prematurely. Eventually she worked it out and came home to see where I was.

So I had a few chips then headed out to my cousins place for his 21st party. They were just starting food there so I caught up with everybody and then got a medium feed. I wasn't drinking as I was driving so started on the coke, but that ran out real fast and as anyone who knows me will tell you I can drink a lot of coke when I want too. So I didn't have much to drink. I entertained everyone with story's of how I took Si out on his first night on the pubs in Wellington when he was 17 and I was 21 (drinking age was 20 then). He got into a pub and I got turned away for lack of ID. Man that sucks. But the good story was how he ended up snogging some 29 year old cop in Coyote's. She was real pissed and her friend kept hitting her and saying ""What are you doing?"" Si was so naive then too. He was saying, I'm just here to have a good time, I don't want to score you, I'm still a virgin... (oh my God!) She thought he was using lines on her to try and pick her up. I hope he has learnt a few things since then. But it was cool to catch up with him, I've invited him down here for a mission sometime, will let you know if that one ever happens

Back to Wellington 3:07AM

Si loved the hip flask we got him which was cool. He was having his real drinking night the next night so wasn't drinking too heavily that night. So eventually we headed home and fell sound asleep. The next morning mum asks us if we heard any noise next door. Apparently this guy had broken into the garage next door, pulled things off the walls, banged the door and messed it up then next morning gone knocking on the owners door asking them where he was. Freaky. He must have been on some pretty serious drugs. This scared the neighbour just a little bit. Nobody had heard anything though except for my uncle who had thought that the neighbours were real noisy.

So that morning was good. We sat around in the sun, read our books and caught up on the good stories with Mum, Robyn, Richard and I. I managed to borrow mum's video player as her TV had broken down and also scored my printer back which I had lent to her ages ago. So we hopped in the car with Nana & Poppa and headed back home. One thing from that trip that gave me a bit of a head swell was Si saying, ""I hate talking to Ashley about stuff. He makes me question my beliefs in life when we talk and even though I believe something, I can't find anything wrong with what he says so I can't say he's wrong."". I love it when I'm that good! Anyway let me just deflate my head a little...

So we got back to Wellington and I helped my Nana and Poppa unload a trailer full of wood. I got a call from Fi asking if they could borrow some CDs and some decorations for Amy's party that night. I said sweet and began to get psyched up for it. I got home and put on some Exponents and started on a Baileys. I checked my email and had a response from the Liquor King people (or Shop Naked, I'm not sure). They are keen to talk to me and have offered me 1 free bottle of spirts. Oh life is so sweet. I cavorted about on pure adreneline for a while and put away a couple more Baileys (my bottle emptied itself a little bit that night). I was on a natural high. So Char came over with a glass of wine and we psyched ourselves up for a big night. I didn't really need any psyching up though. She headed out with Amy (and the bottle of wine) to pick up some friends and we got ready to go. Fi was a little behind time and getting a little paniky (just a little) so I poured her a large shot of Angelica and Baileys to calm her nerves and we got Gerry to give us a ride down there. Once there everything was sweet. I started on the beers and started talking to people. Met Amy's mum and signed her Bear and put the decorations up. It was good to see that there were the mandatory embarrassing naked baby photos of Amy. Everyone was looking real good that night so I took heaps of photos which will be posted up in the disturbances area as soon as I get time as this was indeed a disturbance to be remembered. So I ended up doing a shot of chartruse and one of tequila with Amy. She did a whole lot of others as well and was pretty happy by the end of the night, as was I. I also did some bubbly then moved on to the Drambue. Owch, mixing all those drinks wasn't going to be good for me the next morning. So it was a cool night indeed. We did a lot of dancing and talking and taking photos.

Amy's 21st 3:22AM

Then we ended up going outside and some girls invited Gerry and I around the fire there. We sat down and started talking then I said to them ""I have to do a line on someone tonight so can I do it on you"" (or some thing to that effect, I forget the exact words). They said sweet, so I spouted forth ""If I could ask of God but one thing, it would be to stop the moon, so that tonight could last forever and your beauty with it."" They smiled politely at me and I handed out some web site stickers. They said it was a cool line though. So I mostly did it. It was kind of a cop out that I told them I had to say this and didn't just jump straight into it but still I was impressed with myself. We were going to let Gerry do her line at the next pub but on our way there got told that every one had gone back to the girls flat so we went there instead.

We got a kabab on the way and when we got there I had spilt it all down my top without noticing. So I was trying to dab it off with a big soping wet sponge, not caring that I was soaking my shirt (and apparently being a little stuborn and ignoring others advice). We hung round for a while then went home to bed. It was around 3am by this stage.

Next morning I was feeling just a little hung over. I got up relatively early, around 10am I think. Probably cause Gerry came in and opened my curtains and told me it was a lovely day. I think she wanted to see me hungover and I had a bit of a headache but wasn't spewing or anything. We got up and sat in the sun for a while and I found a 5 cent piece on the path outside the girls flat. It looked pretty scummy like it had been there a while. Then I played a little guitar and tried skipping a bit to give the old metabolism a bit of a kick start. Martin came round and we chatted for a while then Bev & Jo & Miceala came round to take me out to lunch. I went to primary school with Miceala so she is probably the person I still know from the earliest times. We went out to the chocolate fish but it was so packed it wasn't funny so we drove past and into the shops and found a cool little cafe with an awesome sunny courtyard out back. I ordered the mamoth ""everything"" breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, hashbrowns, yummmm. We sat and talked in the sun for hours and it was great. I was still a little hung over though.

The idea of the Curiosity Experiment 3:34AM

Now Fi gave me a brilliant idea tonight and I'm going to call it the Curiosity Experiment. This has a LOT of potential but I don't know how I'm going to use it just now so I won't mention any details just that after I suss the details out I'll write it up as a mission and it shall rock. You will be impressed because it will involve a lot of cleverness of the highest degree. Never underestimate the power of curiosity, it can eat a man (or woman) alive. Ok so that was a quick summary of my weekend. Packed full of adventure, let me say, this week a lot is going to go down, I have informers and they have told me off stuff, tomorrow I'll let you know..

About that word that you have trouble saying... 3:34AM

One thing we talked about was how everyone has a word or two they have trouble saying. I couldn't remember what my ones are, but I know I have them, but one of Miceala's was Squirel. It is soo funny when someone tries there hardest to say some thing but can't say it. I'm not hasselling Miceala cause everyone knows what this is like and I reckon its real cool that she just told us her's then tried saying them in front of us without getting too embarrassed. It was great to catch up with her, but we had to see her off to the airport and then I headed home. I was still a little tired so lay in the quickly disappearing sun for a quick nap then went over to see if Fi was still keen for a blade. She had just brought a chicken and was starting cooking a roast so was busy. I was still feeling a little seedy so was happy not to go. I hung around and talked to the girls for a while and helped Amy assemble her CD rack. They invited me to dinner so I hung around for that and had the legend roast (cheers Fi, you are the bomb cook!) along with a glass of bubbly. We decided to get a cheesecake so I did the mission down to the super market, as I was feeling a little better then, and picked one up. I found another 5 cent piece there and that reminds me I found one on Sat night as well. This makes me think that maybe I should go approach New World in the hope of getting my shopping sponsored. Now would that be cool or what? Hey Tom, you say you don't believe in luck, well neither do I, but I'm currenly living my life as if fate exists and there are things that are meant to happen. Also you say how you quite often miss things by minutes, thats cause you're so slack and always say, ""It'll be sweet, we got plenty of time, they'll wait for us."" As some one wise once said, its your attitude in life that gives you luck or not. Some may think I'm lucky and getting some good breaks. Thats just the way I write things cause thats my outlook on life. I could write this to be the exact opposite, the saddest story you've ever heard and while that would be interesting it would probably end up with me committing suicide as I was so depressed.

After dinner we watched the movie on TV while we waited for the cheesecake to thaw. Did I mention that cheesecake is all good? Anyway, Fi offered me a coke from her 2.25 litre bottle and by the end of the night I had commandeered it and finished it off. Amy kinda drifted in and out of sleep towards the end of the night, as she was feeling a little seedy still and Char got annoyed at the movie (and probably us for talking through it - sorry Char) and went to bed, she had to get up early though. I started to pick up, the hangover discarded somewhere during the roast meal and the coke probably woke me up a little too. So I kept Fi up till after 2am talking and now she's going to be grouchy in the morning due to lack of sleep. I'm not even going to be able to get up cause I won't have slept at all I think. I made the mistake of mentioning a couple of things that you can't tell anyone about to Fi. It is crue to mention that something exists but not tell them what it is. Curiosity eats people alive, in fact Fi won't sleep tonight cause she'll be trying to work out what it was I couldn't tell her about. One thing was the most embarrassing thing I had ever said and I said it in front of a group of people. I don't know if anyone remembers but it wasn't good and the problem is its just as embarassing now if I said it again so I can't tell anyone else I will relive that moment.