The Book of Crispy

Crispy apple in the big apple, again 12:06PM

For those of you not on my spam list, here's what I've been up to:

I've settled into New York. The hotel remembered me, so it was "Welcome back Dr Chapman...". I felt like Dr Evil right then and there. And you know, Jesus I WAS evil... I smuggled my black vodka through customs, lying so convincingly to the rubber glove man, who WAS getting all ready to pull open my luggage, that he let me slip on through. It was a trying experience though, despite my elevated status and work visa it still took 2 hrs to get through customs. It's like being in Heathrow with a Kiwi passport. Imagine that. Yeurgh!

It is definitely summer over here. Most days hit 35 degrees, and the sun is always beating down. The weather report keeps threatening thunderstorms, but in nearly two weeks i've seen only 20 minutes of tropical rain. Of COURSE I have a tan. We skipped work on friday and went to Long Island to sunbathe, drink and get stoned. I dipped into the Atlantic ocean and found it rather pleasant (noted: new to-do list - swim in all of the seven oceans...). The city is humming, well contrasted against how i saw it in January when temperatures dropped to -12 deg.

As a committed tourist, there are more serious things to do:

• Coney Island - rode the Cyclone, a very old roller coaster, opened in 1927 at 5c a ride, built from wood and as rickety as expected (claims to be the oldest, but fails by a long shot - the first basic roller coasters appear in Russia 600 years ago).
  
  
• Coney Island - also home to the Coney island hot dogs, which were not bad. They'd better be because that's where the annual hot-dog eating contest is held. Some fat bastard ate 51 in 12 minutes and got himself into that Guinness book.
  
  
• Baseball - My first "ball" game. Drunk beer and ate hot dogs. Managed to escape getting hit by the ball, which frequently finds it's way into the crowds.
  
  
• Atlantic City - I walked "...on the boardwalk, in Atlantic City...". Sounds like a song doesn't it. What a coincidence...
  
  
• Atlantic City - The primary reason people go there is to gamble. The beach front is full of casinos. I lost $20. Damon lost $800. *Poof!* There goes your money. It sure is a magical place. One of the casinos looked like the inside of the log chute ride at a theme park. This was my first real shot at practicing for Las Vegas. There are some Vegas veterens here so I'm sucking up all the advice and knowledge. I might even have gathered some more souls to join me there in Feb.
  
  
• Atlantic City - I also sampled some Salt-water Taffy, which was invented in Atlantic City in 1883. Nothing special. Think I've had it before. Damn, now it's stuck in my teeth. More Trivia - the original Monopoly street names are all the streets coming off the boardwalk at Atlantic City, with the actual boardwalk being the cheapest property.

You know me as a culinary tourist too, so I've sampled a few up-there restaurants (read: expensive). I've had the New York Strip. I've had the creamiest sashimi ever at Sushi Zen. There is quality tequila, only $30 per shot at Dos Caminos. The prime steak at Del Frisco's is $54. No, sir, vegetables are extra. Thank goodness for the "use your discretion" clause in expense claims, as any hard currency limiting rules would surely be broken, every night.

I want to check out some of the rooftop bars/clubs. Most seem to be exclusive, so I have to find me a sexy famous girl to take and navigate me past the velvet rope. Some grey-haired old playa gave me a hint on how to find one - on Monday nights there are no broadway shows, so you can find show girls at China bar - if you have a foreign accent you probably talk your way into the VIP where the gems are to be found. Get in there you old dog! I know he was really just riding my coat tails because I had a hard-to-get table at Del Frisco's. This is cool - at Bar 89 the toilets are unisex and the cubicles have transparent glass doors. When you latch them shut the glass frosts over, before your eyes, and then resets when you unlatch. Iwantone! Not enough time to sleep, too much to do!

Here is another to-do list: the top 50 restaurants in the world for 2005 (http://www.worldpress.org/Americas/2090.cfm). Watch me. See if I can wrangle a visit to the New York entries. I'll start low with Spice Market at Number 36.

I've been nominated a new description, an extension of my previous. I am now a "NyLon Metrosexual". The NyLon bit is all about New York and London, if you haven't guessed.

Alas, it became rather obvious to me today that I really do have three full-time projects to work on now. So there is unlikely to be any fun for me for the next couple of weeks, which means no more stories either. Wait a minute, Justin is visitng next week, and looking to party. And I am thinking of fitting in sneaky, naughty little sea-kayak trip across to that Statue on Liberty island. And it's summer ...! I'll keep you posted. :)