The Book of Ashes

Playing soccer with Melissa, meeting Farmgirl and Reggie and friends. 11:21AM

Today was another beautiful day. Had a bit of a sleep in then Thomas came round. We sorted a few jobs for him and he's now sussed with a recruitment agency. Gave Lee a call and went out for a game of tennis. Sun like this can't be wasted. For the first time I was worked hard and was pretty stuffed by the end of it. Usually I loose 1-6, 2-6 but this time it was 4-6, 3-6 so I am getting quite a bit better. I came back in a good hyper mood and caught up with Amy. She was looking after her friends daughter, Melissa, who was going overseas soon. Melissa was cool. Real energetic and cheeky like little nine year olds are. We played a bit of catch with the tennis ball and she said I was like her father (cause of the way I caught the ball, fathers have their cool little tricks and I know many of these from Dad). Then she wanted to play soccer so we drove up to the end of the road and had a game on the muddy grass. Amy watched cause she had boots and jeans on so as the crowd went silent it was Ashentina vs Melisia. Far out this little girl is good. She was full on, not scared to header the ball or tackle it off me or anything. She kept appologising for her weak kicks with her LEFT foot but they were better than most girls (or guys) could do with their right foots at that age. I was impressed. We ran around heaps. I don't know how I could handle four kids like my Dad did as she tired me out (altho admittedly I had just finished a good game of tennis). I do remember Dad getting tired out by us kids quite often though. Once she slipped and got mud on her bum, then chasing me at incredible speed to stop a tie breaker goal, she stood in a hidden hole and splashed mud on her legs. Cool girls don't cry tho and she was cool. She came back looking a mess, I felt bad for Amy would had to take her home looking like that. I told her that when she got older she would learn not to fall over so much :) I think I am quite cheeky for a big kid. Anyway Amy had to go so she dropped me home. Melissa was real polite and said bye and thanks for the game. I can't wait to have kids like that. They are so going to be as good as sports as her. I am so going to teach them.

So I then stumbled home and had a shower. I was wasted with the adreline shakes and then left over tired muscles. I didn't recover for hours afterwards. But shit the day had been fun. The boys (Martin & Si) came round on their way to the movies and we filled them in on the happenings. It was cool to catch up with them. So they left then Kate (Farmgirl) arrived with the other Kate (Reggie) and friends. We had a bit of an chat then they left for a hostel for the night. I am going skiing with them next week over my birthday which will rock my world, I so love skiing more than almost anything there is. There is nothing more fun. You should see me afterwards. I never look as happy or as content or as tired as then. Anyway many of them hadn't skied before or even seen snow. How wierd is that? In NZ you kinda assume that everyones seen snow. Its everywhere, especially in the South Island, altho having seen it heaps I still love it so much. Well it was cool to finally meet Reggie altho I haven't had a good chance to talk to her yet and get to know the real her. Also cool to catch up with Farmgirl and meet her friends. Got a call from ChunkyB as well which was a nice surprise. You should call more often dude. So should I, I guess. Well now I must sleep

Of rain and a new day. Of Karma. Of sand. 12:00PM

Today was a perfect clear day. The sun shone upon a cool and drying world from the previous few days continuous rain. Now things are fresh again.

I was awoken relatively early by Thomas arriving. He pretty much part time lives here now, making himself at home for coffees or food or using my stuff. This is sweet. Lee called up and we went out for a morning game of tennis. The courts were a little wet but we got in a couple of games which was good. I think I am begining to improve a little but Lee still beats me about 6 games to 1. This gives me something to aim for. It shan't be long now...

Speaking of large cans of whip-arse. Thomas has been beating me at chess lately. I keep making dumb mistakes and giving him the advantage. My downfall at chess is my lack of patience. Eventually throughout the game I'm bound to make a rash move or two and its usually if my oponent can last this long or notice my mistakes that he beats me. Thomas will get whats coming to him though or else I will have to move city in shame.

Hmmmm.... phone calls to make. Txt msg's were invented to remove any awkwardness here. I hate it when people don't have cell phones. It bugs me sometimes, not being able to communicate with Thomas.

Now let us think of cause and effect. It seems to me that a direct correlation can be drawn between confidence and motivation to do something and actual results. In other words, those who dare win. In fact those who try oft succeed. This is the effect, by trying you get somewhere but what is the cause? This is where opinions differ. But does it matter? (of course it matters, all knowledge or answers are interesting). The result is the same, you don't need luck, you don't need to be of race or religion, of breed or of statue. Things happen, good things, to those who try, to those with the motivation, the drive, the will to achieve. Unfortunetly it is all to clear that good things can also happen to bad people. While I am an advocate of karma, effectively getting what you deserve, it doesn't always happen that way. It would be foolish to think otherwise.

There is an old saying that goes something like this...

...the deeper you bury your head [in a thing], the less you enjoy life. Lift your head up from within the sand. Ignore the sand. The sand is your blindfold. Now for the first time in your life, stand on the sand and take a look around you. Only then will you experience the true beauty that is [life]...

I think this speaks of depression (as the motivation to bury your head further), of beliefs and mindsets (as the sand) and of there being more to life (should you be willing to discard the old to learn of the new). I think it speaks of much