The Book of Ashes

On fire but what causes this? 1:00AM

What is it about being on fire that makes everything so fucking awesome? I'm in a real good mood right now. Its quarter to 1 on a Sunday night and Dan & Treens are back. We just watched Fast and the Furious and even tho I only rate it as medicore, still maybe it got me pumped up. But the thing is that I just played some guitar and it rocked. Creatively it was good. Now does it just sound good because I'm in a good mood and I view everything in a better light? Or do I play better when I'm in a good mood? How come I'm not that good always? Can you pull energy from your surroundings purely by force and do anything you want? Fuck yes! It feels like it right now. Maybe it was watching Bill & Ted's excellent adventure again (most excellent dude!) or just the excellent weekend I've had in general that did it. I don't want to go to bed now cause then it will end. It always ends...

The other day I was bored and I was playing minesweeper on the PC. I wanted to set the highscores and since childhood (being in competion with my younger brothers and all) I've always had to have the high scores on those kind of games. So I thought a few quick games, one on each difficulty level and I'll have them but dudes, I was on fire once again. I was clicking, here, there, clickity, click, click and getting it all right. I was on fire. I wasn't particuly concentrating, I was in a hurry to get it over and done with, like it was a chore, I didn't care if I won or lost, just doing it and fast. Maybe thats it, not caring, just doing it for the love of it (salmonella dub). It all comes back to motivation, it comes back to not trying too hard, stop fucking trying so hard. If you do you only slow yourself down. You are meant to be a fucking machine, nature built you this way, one day you will be that machine, and you will realise that now you don't even need to try. Instinct is the machine, low level coding, the higher functions are just there so you can embezzle money effectively, so you can fuck with you're friends minds, so you can fill out insurance forms and so you can spout forth a load of bullshit if you're ever in trouble. Trust your instincts, trust your gut feeling, stop following what your brain tells you must be the case. It is delusional. It thinks too much. It over thinks. If you think about a thing for longer than a minute then you've over thought it and its likely to be wrong. Go back, rewind, let life be simple once again...

Thursday is lost. I think I drank away those memories. Lets pretend something cool happened then and we'll just move right along...

Friday I met up with Damian and Kelly at the starlight ballroom. It was pretty empty but the $2 handles didn't disagree with us. I had accidently bumped into Fiona on the way who I hadn't seen in a while so I needed a few drinks to forget about that. Five drinks later and we were rocking. Crispy had turned up and there were a whole lot of Damians friends there as well. One of which happened to be an ex of Crispy along with her boyfriend. I thought it might be a little awkward but I was happily surprised. Everyone got on real well and she was real cool.

Carolines party, the halloween party and stickers with Steve... 1:16AM

So we ended up going to a party on Austin street (which is just off the end of my street). It was a friend of Kellys from her work and it was a wicked party. This girl, Caroline, was cool. She invited us in, talked to us, handed us shots of Tequila (how'd she know I hated that?) and introduced us to her single friends. Actually I talked to some cool chicks that night (all of which had boyfriends). One thing I hate is when I tell people I'm off work then they go on and on about it. It drepresses me. Yeah I really want to go over what job options I have and talk about what a bummer it is that I can't work with computers any more. Parties are not for solving your career options. They are primarily designed for memory erasure. That is why parties have alcohol. Anyway great party after which we headed into town. We went BK then everyone piked. I decided to stay out. It ended up being a pretty good night all in all.

Next day I got a call from Bryth. He had just recieved his first pay and had brought a new cell phone. I think most of my day was spent recovering. I lost a few games of chess to Bryth then almost fell asleep watching Bringing in the Dead with Nicolas Cage. I don't recommend this to anyone. Its a bit weird and not in a good sense. That night was dinner at Tulsi to celebrate Bryths birthday (22). He shouted me, mum, Robyn and I out and it was all good. The food picked me up somewhat and I was gaining in energy from then on. I peaked around 1am that morning. After dinner I got the call from Steve and from Tom. We went round to a flat again just round the corner from my place and bore witness to a pretty cool halloween party. I didn't know it was dress up and had come casual... doh! They had turntables there, a few people DJing, lights, smoke machine and many more cool decorations and some wicked costumes. I was impressed. I wasn't drinking much tho. I ended up knowing a few more people there than I thought I would which was cool. Then it was into town to pick up the girls (see photos) and dance a little. We went to Paradiso bar where Steve decided he wanted to hand out stickers to everyone. It was pretty cool. Jodie got in on it as well and we got some cool photos. Steve had printed out the stickers for me which was cool. I didn't bring along enough though and we quickly ran out. So all up that was a pretty cool night as well. Can't wait to see Sifty's write up of events tho ;)

Today was the afterbuzz day. Not too hung over tho a little tired and just catching up on all those little jobs that needed doing. Doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, posting up photos, going out for coffee, catching up with Martin & Si, that kind of thing. Then Dan & Treens came back and we watched a DVD. Now you are up to date. Sorry about Thursday, I really do think it was so boring that I forget exactly what I did on it