The Book of Ashes

Finding Averil (my new flatmate) 10:48AM

Dan Replacement Day

Today has been crazy. It started this morning at 8:30am with the incessant phone calls. It ended (for now) tonight at 10pm. I think I received about 50 calls all up. Over 20 people came round to check out the flat with a 80-90% ""I want it"" rate. Shit it was full on. I had just got up, had a shower and breakfast and was begining to clean the house when the first one came round. It seems it was a sellers market. I had something for sale and everyone wanted it. It was hot property.

The days take was impressive consisting of a lower than normal percentage of freaks. In fact their weren't any freaks, only a few sad people who weren't going very far in life and one vegetarian. After the 20th person round I gave up. I started telling those that rang up I had enough people to choose from thank you very much. It didn't stop the punters ringing tho. Finally I took a break and had a cold speights with Jessie next door. Mmmmm beer. What a list. Luckily I had learnt from previous experience to write down things about people. For the one guy that I didn't, Nick, I can remember nothing about so he didn't get the flat. There were some worthy contenders tho, the first chick through who had everything that Dan was taking and brought her brother along who seemed a real decent guy (a good reference), the two German guys who thought I was a surfer (cause of my Quicksilver sweater) and liked my taste in music (I rock), the chick whose friend commented on my excellent sci-fi and movie collection (again I rock) but who thought the room was too small, the chick called Lisa who was easy going and cool to talk to and finally the one I choose, Averil.

So I now have a new flatmate. She is moving in not this Friday but the next. Another era has ended and a new one shall begin. I am tired now tho. This era change-over thing wears one out. I still had a 70% cold today so I sniffled through most of the phone calls. Bonus points go to the clever dude that rang me up twice and got half way through asking me questions before he realised it. At least he didn't try to bluff it thru till the end.

So now the house is immaculate. Not a hair nor patch of dead skin to be found on any surface. We had the most perfect day to show the house off. This afternoon the sun streamed in and everyone fell in love with the place. It was like a forest glenn but with out the forest or the glenn bits.

Tomorrow I catch up on my list of things to do, then we're back into it again. Time to find my place in big picture. I must admit meeting so many different people was really cool. I had a busy but good day. There were so many cool people I met, I almost want to ring them up and say sorry you didn't get the flat but wanna hang out? The chick from Mollys, the guy from Papa New Guinea, its all there, so much to experience. Its funny how many people walk round the outside of my neighbouring 4 flats before finding my flat, even with directions.

I called everyone back tonight and said sorry I got someone else. Suck for them. Its a sellers market out there. Its not the time to be buying..

The cold! The cheesecake! The flatmate hunting! 12:39PM

So now its Wednesday (just). Dan left this morning (Tuesday morning, I call it this morning cause its still the morning I got up in even tho this morning is really Wednesday morning). I assume he got there OK. I guess I will have to check up on him. He has taken a car load of Dan possessions up to the land of Auck in which to search for a tent or other accomodation to live in. Treen doesn't trust his judgement and so is flying up on the weekend (bet you didn't know she could fly) to approve his choice/s. More likely tho she is just the fussier of the two (sorry Treen) and Dan must appease his woman.

Today I've had a cold. Pretty standard, probably originated from Edinburgh roughly 10,000 years ago (it has those specific symptoms, the head cold type). Speaking of colds it really sucks how your nose runs. If you lie on your side as I do then it encourages just the lowest nostril to leak. This is a bitch specially when you are half asleep and confuse nostril leak with dribble and think its only saliva, I don't care if my face rolls over in it. Also to get a brief reprieve from this leakage (the body should never leak unless told to) you may lie on your back where then both nostrils reverse leak into your throat, a satisfactory solution except that since childhood you've never been able to sleep on your back. What a bitch! Back to your sides and the leakage begins again. Then you run out of tissues and you've got to start using your sleaves.... arrrggghh. By this time your nose is so raw it hurts just to sniffle (is that a word?). OK so my cold hasn't been that bad. Monday it just started to come on, Monday night sucked as explained above, Tuesday and its still here but (please) going tomorrow and has just been making me go slow.

I am amazed at my ability to eat cheesecake. I'm talking about the standard Crofters from the supermarket brand. Consume is really a more descriptive word and inhale also adds a little bit to the process I go through. I've just about eaten a whole one tonight and thats only cause I had a friend round whom I was sharing with. She ate 1/8th of it. Sure I ate 5/8ths after she had gone home cause I'm not greedy in company but still I'm impressed by this super ability of mine. I'm not even full and could probably eat another if push came to shove. Where does it all go? Thats what I want to know...

Tomorrow is ""Find a Dan replacement"" day. I've put the ad in the paper and all the peoples will come knockin at my door. Obviously I am looking for a few improvements. Better looking for one. More willing to give me foot massages is another. Looking good in a bikini is another. Obviously I'm going back to my policy of flating with a female (what where you thinking?). Flatmate hunting sucks. You sit at home repeating your speal about how great your flat is then act happy and show everyone round. People don't turn up, they don't care about you or your flat or else they just plain scare you. I remember from last time the guy who was married but didn't live with his wife and his mother was paying for him to move down here (fucking weird), or the bar tender from Liquid that checked the place out hardly saying a word then saying yup I like it, close to town, good place to crash (sorry mate you loose), or the pretty girl with the buck teeth and her top unbuttoned a little too far (where do you safely look?)... all fun and games.

Cheesecake

Today was real fucking hot. I wanted to go for a swim but it wasn't a good idea with my cold. Tomorrow will rain cause my cold is going away tomorrow.

Do you know how inconsiderate Dan is? He's leaving in a week and a halfs time and he won't even consider leaving his TV, DVD, TUNER and SPEAKERS behind for another year... can you believe that? If I had a million dollar yatch I'd let him borrow it and take it up to dOrkLand for a while. I'm a nice guy like that. Almost 4000 chars used here. Almost