The Book of Ashes

Whats on at the moment. 1:20AM

Tuesday, busy day, still overcast and cold. Better than the weekend tho. Quick catch up. For those who have seen me recently you have probably heard I am writing my own webserver. I am going to get rid of the OAS webserver and Oracle database that the Perihelion is currently running on and replace then with my own (delphi made) web server and MySQL database. All entirely free. Much better, but it will take a while. The webserver is quite exciting to work on. I know I am a geek but its cool.

Lots coming up, lots on the plate. My bro, Eddie has set a date for his 21st in Dunners at the end of August. Will have to get time off then plan a road trip down there. This weekend starts on Friday with a party at Waynes (my ex-flatmate from my first flat in Wellington), then drinks with Jody and crew, Paintball with work on Saturday, day trip up to Palmy and the Marae for my Nana & Poppa's birthday celebrations. Whew.... busy, busy, busy. Lots on during this week as well.

OK so I've heard the cries for the ability to upload photos to the Perihelion. Have put it up to the top of things to do on the Perihleion. Am working on it!

The Musings of the Mind 9:52AM

""The most creatively attuned of the human minds possess the ability to allow through the most abstract of links, a fragile tether of one idea in a sentance to the next. Every once and a while this fragile link proves solid as statistics dictates must happen. It is therefore those with the gaps in their brains, that don't filter their ideas quite right, that come up, eventually, with the best ideas.""

Mark Twain, The Musings of the Mind.

One will never quite know what sanity is till one looses it. Once lost however it can never be regained, nor by definition can the afflicted understand fully their condition. Its a catch-22 really, you can't understand it without loosing it, but once you've lost it you can never regain it to fully understand it. It is those that have been to the edge and have caught a glimpse that can teach us much. We must always be thankful for that which we don't understand that we have. Seek not the TV, the big job, the boyfriend, the payrise or the car. You are worthy of greater things. Take pleasure in your sanity and your health. Enjoy the fact that you exist at all. Think on that my friend.

""Red broken particles, float aimlessly down. High fibred donuts, spin round and round. Out in space nothing matters, out in space all are free. Out in space no rules apply to average Joes like you and me.""

I still want to mold the future, gripping it between my hands and pulling it out like a maleable metal. Nothing really stops me bar my own limitations. I saw Wayne today and was reminded of how close I came. He spoke of the internet and of how much he had learnt in the past few years. He remembers the begining, when the Perihelion was but an idea in my mind, a gathering, a place for a cult to grow. He knew you before your world had even formed, before I had given you a face. He knows where we all come from. And now he is also ready.

Wayne is a hard dude. He is one of the best design guys I know. He is definitely talented. People like this need to be put to use. I know so many talented people, what if they all came together. I keep seeing this, all the time, an idea here, a skill there, I evaluate people for their worth and think up ideas that that worth could be put to. Its frustrating. I can't just live life, that would be boring. I have to organise it, shape it, mold it, make it better. I want to control it. I want to have power like Microsoft. Question is... could I do a better job